Moment of Clarity
by klutzysunshine
Summary: Set post "Searchers". Buck has a moment of clarity and figures out he's in love with Eddie after their conversation.


When Eddie dropped Christopher off at his apartment - itrusting him/i, Buck was stunned (even as he walked over to the little boy he loved like his own). In a moment of clarity, he realized what he had known but ignored for a long time - he was head over heels in love with Eddie - his best friend, the man he trusted more than anybody. "You want to watch a movie?" Chris asked him with a grin.

"_Finding Nemo_? Or _Dory_?" he questioned. Buck couldn't stop thinking about Eddie, however, and tried to wrap his mind about the revelation that had knocked him down a few pegs. Did Eddie even feel the same way? It was hard to say, although the conversation they just had had been loaded with subtext.

"Neither. No movies with water," Chris declared.

"Good plan, buddy." Buck grinned at him and the two of them brought up the menu to try to find something else to watch that they'd both enjoy. They eventually settled on a different Disney movie that didn't involve water at all.

Chris scooted closer to Buck and hugged him. "Snack?" he asked hopefully.

Buck laughed. "Did you just hug me so I'd give you food? You're good, buddy," he teased.

Chris shrugged and grinned. "Please?"

"Hard to say no to you, buddy, so sure." He didn't want to leave the house right now but he'd take Eddie's zoo suggestion into consideration for another day. And fuck, now Buck couldn't stop thinking about him. The last time he felt this way was when he and Abby first started dating - but this was so different for some reason. It was bothering him he couldn't figure out why. Hopefully he'd figure it out soon."

Chris cheered as Buck got up, went to his backpack and ruffled through it, and then returned with some pudding. "Thank you, Buck."

"You're welcome, Chris." He ruffled his hair and then stood up to make a quick phone call. Chris paused the movie and gave him a questionable glance. "I'll be right back - just have to make a quick phone call."

His response pacified Christopher and he turned his attention back to the frozen screen, hoping his Buck would come back soon. "Hurry up!"

Buck laughed. "I'll be as fast as I can, buddy." He rushed to his bedroom as he clicked on Maddie's number and dialed the number.

"Hey, what's up? Everything okay?" his worried sister asked after she answered the call. After the last terrifying phone call, Maddie couldn't help but worry about her brother. Hearing that Buck had collapsed as a result of his injuries and the adrenaline finally fading scared the shit out of her.

"Kinda." Buck took a deep breath. "I'm in love with Eddie, Maddie. Like I can't imagine my life without him."

Maddie had to lightly bite down on a finger to stop a squeal from breaking loose and interfering with everyone else's work - they all needed to concentrate. She was just glad Buck happened to call while she was on break. "Finally!"

Buck bit his lip. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "It means you two are really fucking obvious - and oblivious. What brought on this revelation?" She leaned forward in anticipation of his response.

Still reeling from his sister's answer, Buck took a few minutes to field the question. "I didn't think he was ever going to trust me again. But Maddie - he just dropped Christopher off here for me to watch him. He doesn't trust anyone else like he does me. I lost his son and all Eddie told me was that we got caught in a natural disaster. I love him. It hit me in that moment, as he was holding me to tell me all of this."

Maddie squealed but made sure to stay quiet to not disturb anyone else (she'd definitely need to talk to Josh as soon as they hung up, though). "Fucking finally!" she whispered excitedly. "Evan, please tell him - he deserves to know the truth, and you both should be happy. Well, the three of you, actually."

"You're sure? I don't want to ruin our friendship." Buck couldn't help but be terrified he'd fuck everything up if he said anything.

"You won't ruin your friendship, I promise. Tell him the truth when he gets off his shift and picks Christopher up. Everything is going to work out great for you. Good luck!"

"Thanks, Maddie. I'll talk to you later."

"You're welcome." Maddie smiled and then the two of them hung up.

Buck returned to Chris' side and they unpaused the movie. They played with some of his toys and when dinner rolled around, Buck ordered some pizza for the two of them. "Thanks, Buck. This is really good!" Chris gave him a thumbs up, and Buck's heart warmed. He loved this kid and was so grateful nothing bad had happened to them during the tsunami. Those hours he had gone missing - the what ifs - would haunt him for the rest of his life, however. Actually, the whole terrifying day would stick with him and he suspected it was the same for Chris. But he refused to dwell on what had just occurred only days ago because he wanted to have fun with this sweet, amazing little boy.

* * *

When Eddie's shift ended later that night and he dropped by the apartment to pick up Chris, he was amused when he found them both playing a game. "You guys having fun?"

"Yes! I beat my Buck a few times," he proudly informed his father.

Buck nearly broke at being called Christopher's again but pulled himself together and beamed at his best friend. "He just broke you again, didn't he?" Eddie joked.

"... Maybe." Buck wanted so badly to tell him how he felt but he didn't want to do it while Christopher was in the room. Maybe another day (hopefully tomorrow).

"Something on your mind?" Eddie could tell Buck was holding something in and he wondered if it was related to the tsunami.

"Nah. I'll tell you about it later." He gestured towards Chris, and Eddie got the picture.

"I'll hold you to that. Carla comes back next week so you only have to watch Chris for a few more days. But you're still my number one baby-sitter."

Buck nearly folded right then and there but held himself back. "Thanks." He leaned down to hug Chris, and then sent the Diazes on their way.

* * *

Eddie chose to ask Buck what was going on with him the next night when he stopped by to pick up Chris and found his son sound asleep on the couch. "You want to tell me now?"

Buck's eyes flickered towards Chris, making sure he really was asleep. "Sure." And then everything came pouring out of him at once, which surprised even himself. "I understand if you don't feel the same way but I had to tell you," he finished, eyeing Eddie in worry and fear.

Eddie's grin lit up the living room. "You serious?"

Buck nodded. "I mean it with every fiber of my fucking being."

He surged forward and kissed Buck. "I fucking love you too, Buck. Didn't know if you felt the same but was fucking hope you did. I've been in love with you for a long time."

Buck laughed and kissed him back. "Good to know. I think we accidentally fell into co-parenting Chris recently."

"Well, at least he cheered you up."

The two of them grinned at each other and kissed again, hoping they wouldn't wake Chris up.

Buck, Eddie, and Christopher had a lot of adventures ahead of them - and unfortunately had to deal with more disasters in Los Angeles. Nature of the job and all of that. But they were officially a family now and nothing and nobody could ever rip them apart, even in the midst of all the chaos that came with their chosen career and lives.


End file.
